genetically modi-fied expectations

ever since i parked my not so designer butt in goa, it has been a rather nonsensical experience.

i am being molested by inflated bills, inflated egos, inflated expectations and a punctured wallet.

so when a midnight caller for a covert operation came knocking at my doorstep

accompanied by a falguni pathak background score, i was fully electrified by the colorful nonsensical expectations and thoughts of being a vibrant millionaire.

whisked away was i into the land of great rivers and wide roads with wholesome women and equally wholesome men. wait a moment, they all looked the same, walked the same and talked the same,

and than i heard it. they were chanting namo 4 pm. thousands of namo 4 pm chanting clones were lined on the streets to welcome me. my reputation of fake identities and more faker artworks had hit the gai mata's* eye and i was going to milk it faster and harder for now.

i was cornered in a room with well-fed faces but their shifty eyes were obscured with dramatic lighting. all i could see on the huge round table was operation 'secular namo'. i was briefed and bullied both at the same time with an undisputed deadline.

the fine print of the brief was to photoshop 'na** more secular' to 'now more secular'.

 

presenting marquesses modi de gujarat

take 1

so the first stopover of our secular p.m. modi is in the not so happening

'land of the conquistadors' - portugal.

why? because they once used to be in the backyard of narendra bhai's vibrant gujarat.

yes yes, daman and diu and a lot of gujju's whose mai baap were born in those european backyards before 1961 have all procured portuguese passports and dumped dandiya gujarat for electric europe.

portugal is also a largely catholic country. imagine the lot of gujju bhai behn paying in euros

to meet 'marquesses modi de gujarat'. so exciting!

but the real excitement of modi bhai other than the title of 'marquesses modi'

is actually his fetish for fancy headgear. get it?

*gai mata's - holy cow's / cow's

**na - no in english (nao in portuguese)

(to continue)